Who Is Mordecum Bitchler?
The world is asking.
Who is Mordecum Bitchler?
The answer is simple.
He’s shiny, larger than life, and full of clichés.
He’s a rock ’n’ roll icon. A visionary. A ladies’ man. A musical genius. A man who has broken barriers, shattered boundaries and redefined the very meaning of redefining things.
Sources close to the man (namely Leo) say that Bitchler has been romantically linked to several unnamed celebrities (including the Robert Palmer dancers.)
“I dated them in high school,” Bitchler recalls.
He turned down a major Hollywood role, saying Scorsese was a hack.
He also reportedly pissed off King Charles by refusing to stop playing “Stairway to Heaven” at a private royal function.
The Palace has declined to comment.
Bitchler has not.
“Charlie knew what he was getting into.”
With influences ranging from Dylan to Bowie, Sinatra to Shakespeare, Mordecum Bitchler is poised to become the most important artist of his generation.
Or not.
One thing is certain:
Mordecum Bitchler is a name you won't soon forget.
And if you do, just think of Charlie.
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